I don’t usually post on weekends, and I don’t have anything to say that won’t sound trite in the face of the terrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. But it seems wrong to let something so sad go by without comment. So I’m stopping in the midst of the whirlwind of diaper changes and bottles and tummy time and board books to think about the parents who will never squeeze their dear little ones again.
Tonight when I put Peanut down, I stayed a few extra moments in her room and gave her a few extra squeezes. Instead of thinking about the mounds of dishes I had to conquer downstairs once I laid her in her crib, instead of rushing out to get it all done so I could crash on my pillow, I snuggled her in the rocker and thought about our weeks in the NICU and about how happy I am to have a safe, healthy baby in my arms, despite the rocky road it took to get there. And I thought about the parents of Newtown, and about all the parents who have to send their little ones off on the school bus on Monday. No one should have to fear sending their child to school. I don’t know what that’s like, and I can’t imagine it right now, but I know what it’s like to stare down real fears about your little one’s health and safety and it’s the worst feeling in the world. So I rocked Peanut, and I cuddled her, and I wiped away tears of sadness for Newtown and gratitude for my beautiful little girl.
I don’t know anyone in Newtown; I’ve never been there. And school shootings are always horrific. But this is the first one that’s happened since I became a mother, and I’m deeply shocked. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who lost a loved one this week, especially the parents, and the heroic teachers who laid down their lives for their students, and to those sweet souls who will be young forever. This weekend, hug someone you love.