Okay, adults, are you ready to talk about a very sad, sad book today? Get your tissue box ready, because I mean this book is SAD. I cry every time my mom reads me this book. Because it’s so sad.
The reason that this book is so sad is that at first you think it’s about a triumph of the
human owlish spirit. What happens is, it’s nighttime and everyone goes to sleep except for the owl. I don’t know why but the owl doesn’t have a naptime or a bedtime or anything, which is SO COOL MOMMY. Maybe the owl’s mom is just cooler than my mom. Anyway, it’s night and instead of going to bed the owl PLAYS, OMG MOMMY. She flies by all these other babies animals and they are all sleeping like chumps. And the owl just says HA HA YOU GUYS YOU ARE SUCH LOSERS WITH BEDTIMES LOL.
I know what you’re thinking: what is sad about this? This owl is the luckiest
baby owl in the entire world, with NO BEDTIME MOMMY. The baby owl probably had a bedtime once but she perservered and won and now she has NO BEDTIME MOMMY. So that’s what pulls you in and makes you think that this is an inspirational book about a baby owl who beat all the odds and got rid of bedtime, which obviously we are all trying to do.
But then. But then! I don’t mean to give away the ending but I’m going to give away the ending. What happens is that all the other animals wake up and the owl FALLS ASLEEP. I know what you’re thinking: WUT?!?!?!?! You are so inspiring to me, owl, or you were until you fell victim to NAPTIME. What is that about? I don’t know why, but I keep forgetting what happens and getting excited because someone finally BEAT THE NASTY BEDTIME and then the owl just falls asleep and I am crushed all over again by the tragedy of it all.
My mom really likes this book. She likes the pictures and she likes showing me where the owl is (I humor her by looking because it seems really important to her) and she thinks that it’s some kind of relaxing book that is going to make me go to sleep. Make me have nightmares, is what I say. Nightmares about BEDTIME and NAPTIME and THINKING YOU HAVE OVERCOME BUT THEN YOU HAVEN’T OMG SO SAD. But it is kind of funny that my mom thinks that this book will make me go to sleep. She keeps on reading it and she likes to read it in a very soft voice that she thinks is soothing but really it just fills me with righteous anti-bedtime rage. I know there are other babies whose parents are probably doing the same thing, so I would just like to say LOL, ADULTS, stop reading this book because if you really think this is going to put babies to sleep then I want some of whatever is in your bottle.
Lesson for parents: LOL this is a joke, right?
Also: I will never nap I will never nap I will never nap I will never…
Psst, buy the book here if you must, but DOWN WITH BEDTIME.